Costco Embraces a 'Dolphin Safe' Playa, Welcomes TV's Flipper
as Camp Mascot
Vows to Brings Fresh Fish To Burning Man 2002
BLACK ROCK CITY, NEV. - March 24, 2002 - Costco Soulmate Trading
Outlet, Inc. (Burndaq: CSTO) the leading provider of low cost
quality soulmates, announced a stretegic partnership with TV's
Flipper. Costco CEO Rico said, "We don't usually
venture into marketing agreements with Television has-beens,
but bringing fish to the playa in the form of a once famous sea
mammal was a perfect match."
As part of the move to fully integrate Costco into the theme
for the 2002 Burning Man festival, The Floating World,
the corporation announced today that they would become the
foremost supplier of fresh fish, as well as high quality
soulmates in Black Rock City this year.
"Diversity in our inventory is something that Costco has strove
for from day one," Softie Softerson, Corporate Plumber and
Director of Hot Water and Public Relations, "Supplying not
only soulmates, but fresh seafood to this niche market seemed a
natural progression for us." His statements were made at a
hastily prepared press conference at the Fisherman's Terminal
in Seattle. "See all these big fishing boats?" Softerson said,
"This is the vision that Costco brings to Burning Man 2002. If
the open playa is an empty ocean of solitude, Costco is an
island oasis of warmth and companionship. Plus consider all
the lonely fisherman that Costco will bring to Burning Man."
The addition of the 1960's television star, Flipper, to the
camp roster, not only will raise Costco's already high-profile,
but offers a generation raised on television an opportunity to
reflect on a time before reality-based drama and television
courtrooms. "It harkens back to a time when a family could
enjoy quality time with an exotic pet," Softerson said.
The star of over 87 episodes, Flipper was actually a female
bottle nosed dolphin named Mitzi, and employed a number of
stand-ins, depending upon the particular stunt or scene the
director demanded. The successful series ran 4 years,
entertaining many households, before being cancelled in 1968. In
1995 Producers attempted a remake of the famed series, but could
not 'set the hook' on American television audiences. However,
the original series and the remake are a regular feature on
Canadian TV. Although the American public has lost its
fondness for the cackling bottlenose, our quaint neighbors to
the north still find the underwater antics riveting.
Costco Soulmate trading outlet Vice President of Facilities, Jefe
MacSprocket was quick to point out, via conference call onboard
the corporate jet en-route to Thailand, that this undertaking was
part of the company's aggressive move toward globalization.
"The required tanks and refrigeration are sure to put a strain
on infrastructure at the Black Rock City location, but
negotiations with Fridgidaire, and the Dough-boy pool corporation
are moving forward. These strategic partnerships wil help keep
the camp smelling fresh, and to make our guest of honor comfortable."
Costco plans include bringing in Trout from Oregon, Salmon from
Washington, Chilean Sea bass, and Halibut from the depths of
the California coast. "This is not just about having fun in
the Nevada Desert, this is about embracing a low fat, high
protein, alternative to red meat," said Eileen Princess, Vice
President of Grub and Chief Kitchen Performance Artist.
"Although the camp has in past years dined on purely vegetarian
fare, who after about day five on the playa hasn't wished for
maguro or unagi?"
"While other organizations are reducing their workforce,
Costco's tremendous growth has allowed us to hire year after
year," announced Brenda Lynn, Vice President of Human
Resources, from the steps of Sea World in San Diego. "Rather
than scaling down the benefits we provide our employees, Costco
has been able to ramp-up the package we offer to new and
existing employees." Still donning a black skintight wetsuit
after a fact-finding mission at the marine park, she added, "We
welcome the dolphin handlers, aquarium technicians, fishermen,
and sushi chefs to the Costco family."
The final phase of the plans calls for an exclusive marketing
agreement with Red Lobster. "Primarily to take advantage of
their snappy ads and deep fat fryers, but after a week on the
playa, I'd kill for king crab," said Rico. "The 2002 Burning Man
participant should expect to see a bolder, leaner, and
substantially fishy-er Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet."
Flipper is the world-famous television series and the
starring character played by Mitzi, the dolphin. More
information may be found at www.timvp.com/flipper.html.
About Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet
Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet (Burndaq: CSTO) is the leading
provider of low-cost, quality soulmates in Black Rock City. For
more information on the company and its products, visit the
Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet Web site at