Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet
is the leading provider of
low-cost, high-quality soulmates since 1998. We offer quality name
brand and private-label soulmates at substantially lower prices than
can be found through conventional wholesale sources.
National Brands and Private Label
Costco soulmates include many products unavailable at other soulmate
chains and at substantially lower prices. National brands include
Male, Female, Het, Gay, and Bisexual. Private label soulmates include
Techno Boy, Flaming Fag, Baby Dyke, Redneck, Beautiful Bi, Punk
Piercing, and Artsy Fartsy.
"This is only a small sample of the brands we offer," said CEO Rico
Rico, "With a large store and a huge inventory, we are able to
offer a variety not found at other chains."
Customer Success: Costco eagerly awaits customer success
The Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet is a membership-only store. Membership
applications are available at all location, including our main Black
Rock City store location.
To qualify for membership, customers must bring a "Soulmate-Compatible"
friend to trade. "This keeps our inventory in balance," stated Rico.
There are no other membership fees, but this is negotiable. We are
always willing to accept food, massage, good stories, magic tricks,
cocktails with funny names, illicit substances, and ballpoint pens.
Membership applications consist of a digital picture and a completed
questionaire personally designed to embarrass and humble each
After a membership card is issued, members may pick up their soulmate
after an hour or more. Members will be issues a photograph of and
information about their new soulmate, another resident of Black Rock
Unlike other soulmate chains, the Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet
keeps costs low by elminating charges associated with stocking
and delivery. "Rather than delivering soulmates," said
Rico, "we tell customers where they can find their soulmate,
and they track them down."
"Costco Soulmate Trading outlet is a customer-focused operation," said
Rico. "We eagerly await customer success stories like bliss
hippies crawling over the playa waiting for donations of food and
water. We live for tales of Costco marriages, great friendships, and
fortuitous Costco meetings."
If you are especially pleased with your soulmate, please return
together to your store location so we can take your picture and post it
on our store customer success board and the website.